Empathy, or Lack Thereof

You meet someone.  You cautiously reach out.  You learn about each other, and as you do, a bond forges.  Chemistry, infatuation, fate, destiny, whatever the reason at some point you both decide it’s something more than friendship; it’s something you want to build on, to invest time and effort in for the promise of a better future.

No one knows ahead of time if it will work out.  The latest numbers suggest about half determine it was a mistake, and move on.

Now imagine that as you are going through that, someone else steps in and says:

“Whoa, there!  I forbid you to give in to your feelings.  I forbid you the opportunity to find out if you are really meant for each other.  I forbid you to formalize your bond in the eyes of society and the world.  And I do so because I choose to selectively interpret a book of fables.”

I speak, of course, of gay marriage, and opposition to it by the intellectually and morally challenged.

That the subject of gay marriage is spoken about in the context of the upcoming elections is to me evidence to the fact a significant portion of the population has their head up their ass.

Now, I understand I am going to piss off some people who read this.  Some likely left at the end of the last sentence.  I don’t mind.  Having worked in and with GM for many years, I learned there is no help for people who have their head up their ass.  They don’t get enough oxygen, you see, so it’s difficult for them to think clearly, if at all.

Now, I could debate the biblical arguments, such as they are.  I could mention some christians ignore certain portions of the bible, and other christians focus on them to justify all manners of sins, and that in the end it’s all a matter of choice as to what the faithful choose to follow (nearly two thousand different sects of christianity support my point).   I could mention there is no direct quote by the chief zombie with regards to homosexuality, only to have someone bring up Matthew 19:11-12, and then others bring up John 5:46-47.

I could go into the Declaration of Independence and find the words “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” associated with inalienable rights of every human, and that the purpose of government is to respect, and not to limit those rights, but then some poorly educated, mouth-breathing-idiot will argue the interpretation of it, and read more into the words than their intent or what they mean.  

No, none of that.  Instead, I will focus on empathy.

There are many definitions of empathy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy), and they covers a broad spectrum of understanding.  Since this post is about my opinion, I will define it according to my understanding.

Empathy is the basis of compassion.  It is the ability to see yourself in other people’s stead, and consequently realize when action, words, or even silence hurts others in a way you would not want to be hurt.  

In my opinion, empathy is the single most important trait differentiating humans from shit-slinging primates.

“Treat others as you would have them treat you.”  Christians claim this idea as their own, but it predates them by thousands of years.  It is such a simple and basic idea that it has been used to resolve conflicts between disparate parties since recorded history.  And christians mostly ignore it.

I firmly believe christians who oppose gay marriage have no empathy, and I’m not surprised by it.

History has shown  that if you do not conform to the arbitrary and ever-changing understanding of what it means to be a christian, you are not only considered inferior, but also a threat to the “christian” way of life.  

You are characterized as not worthy of those rights enumerated so eloquently in our historical documents.  You are not deemed capable of living your life as a contributing member of society, and in fact are actively barred from participating.  You are not recognized as a human who lives, loves, and feels.  You are seen as an abomination.

You can then be ostracized, penalized, ridiculed, and if it comes to it, killed, all without any feeling of remorse.  Christians claim the bible says so.

I pick on christians because they are most vocal in this country, but other religions are just as backwards.  Of course, other religions don’t have as much sway in the political arena of these United States . . . yet.

To defend their persecution of others, christian cite doomsday scenarios.  Scenarios which are never fully explained, like the one predicting dire consequences to the institution of marriage should gay marriage become legal.  Aside the fact none of the predictions made ten years ago are even remotely close to the reality we live in, it’s difficult for me to follow their logic.

For the life of me, I can’t imagine how two people of the same sex marrying would impact my own, or anyone else’s marriage.

“People will see it as an alternative to traditional marriage!”

I’ve never heard anyone explain how legalizing same sex marriage would prompt currently heterosexual individuals to branch out.  Perhaps many christians are closet homosexuals and lesbians, and the leadership fears massive defections from the ranks.

No one explains the mechanism by which the institution of marriage would be weakened and destroyed by allowing two people to commit their lives to each other.  It make no sense.  But then it did not make sense when people argued against, and erected legal and social hurdles for, couples of different colors to marry.  An abomination, they argued, before the eyes of god and its loving disciples.

Some of the loving disciples are even willing to kill to keep it from happening.  

While illogical, saying gay marriage will destroy the “institution of marriage” is nothing compared to this incredibly idiotic comment that crossed my path: “What next?  What if people want to marry animals?  Should we allow that as well?”.  

Am I annoyed?  You betcha!  High unemployment, massive debt, energy concerns, environmental concerns, a financial crisis looming ahead for both the US and the world,  and half of the current elected legislators are more preoccupied with oppressing a minority of the population than with actively and forcefully legislating for the good of all.  

There are other important issues, to be sure, but this is, to my mind, a matter of human decency. Of compassion.  Of recognizing the same rights in others that I want for myself.

To you, the person who actively, or by tacit consent, oppress your fellow humans, and deny them what you claim for yourself . . . look in the mirror.  Look into your eyes . . . do you recognize the shit-slinging primate behind them?  Is that who you want to be?  Then, you are no friend of mine.

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